Be the master...

I was beginning to wonder if I was turning into a co-dependent baby.

I thought hubby and I had this great relationship, one where we each give and take. One where we compromise and share our feelings to work out what's best for us or the family. One that is the absolute definition of love (are you picturing all of the fat red hearts that should be encircling this paragraph?)

And then he was gone last night and I had no idea what the heck to do with myself after the boys were in bed. I ALWAYS like to have time to myself. Surely I had plenty of good ideas in which to partake. But nothing was coming to me.
I started feeling sorry for myself. I felt I had no project nor undertaking that would be beneficial for just ME. Even though I've been wanting to pick up my guitar again, find time to write again, and listen to those Spanish learning Cd's again.

But let's be realistic here. It was 8:30 pm and I was ready to veg out. However no new Netflix movie had arrived. No new book had captured my attention. And there was no zoning out occurring because of the lack of cable TV. I had watched a little of the diving at the Olympics but I was in no mood that night for women's volleyball or for a gruesome murder show. Come on! I wanted to shout. It's Wednesday night! Can someone throw me a frigging bone here? (This last from Dr. Evil in Austin Powers.)

I took a shower and thought about the fact that hubby and I are going through a tremendous change in our relationship. However, not one where I am co-dependent. I hope not anyway.

He's started graduate school. He is going for a Master's of Business Administration 2nights a week for the next 2 years. This is wonderful! I'm really excited for him. Even though he may not agree because he doesn't like to think of himself as a business man, (or rather one who must dress appropriately to be in the line of business-he's just more comfortable in cargo shorts and his trademark paisley button-down) this program will suit him really well. He's a natural leader and does fabulously with communication (and he's a tech guy!) The MBA can only open more doors for him, whether at his present job or somewhere else.

Although, it's going to be tough. For Hubby, he will have to work all week, normal hours. And those 2 nights of "school" he will go straight from work to class. He will have studying to do as well. But if anyone can pull all of that off, it's him.
I know other people do this as well and come out of it with flying colors, like I know he will.

And me, well...a friend having gone through this exact scenario warned me that there was a "What about me?" feeling. She said one might question what she's doing at home when her partner is busy with both work and grad school. And the partner not in school may also feel a little left behind. And this came from a working mom! I just didn't expect that feeling to transpire the VERY FIRST night that hubby was gone, at orientation no less!

I think this will be good for both of us. We're going to have to figure out a good schedule for both of us, as well as time for both of us. I think I will need to find some good projects and some good books. And I am thinking of graduate school for me for the next year... I do think it will be important to ensure a good bloody movie has arrived on Mondays and Wednesdays from Netflix!